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Beyond blame

Posted by Simon Parke, 12 March 2018, 10.57am

If someone is quick to blame others, it is because they are quick to blame themselves.

Fearful of blame, a fear placed in them in their unrememberable past, they wish to unload it on those around.

It is passed around like a hot potato fresh from the fire and acts as a form of faux purification.

‘Here, you have the blame – I don’t want it.’

‘As you become bad, I become good. Ah, the relief!’

We can blame overtly or covertly; subtly or obviously.

But however clever the disguise, it’s still an act of terror in ourselves, and an act of aggression towards others.

Part of coming home to ourselves, (and it’s both a long and very short road) is the acceptance of ourselves.

Such acceptance has no blame or self-punishment contained within it, for while all in our past is revealed, all deeds acknowledged and none repressed, our sorrow ensures there is also nothing unreleased.

We have said goodbye to it all, it has upped and flown away and quite out of sight.

So blame is redundant, a ghost. We are a clean slate of awareness with only the present to live.

And this acceptance of our self, this coming home, spills out towards others.

As the poet Hafiz reminds us,

‘Blame keeps the sad game going.

It keeps stealing all your wealth,

giving it to an imbecile with no financial skills.

Dear one, wise up!’

In the heat of the battle, we slowly learn not to turn on ourselves and then turn on others.

We breathe in a kind and accepting spirit…we breathe out our terrified spirit of blame.


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