Posted by Simon Parke, 05 October 2017, 5.55am
Grace arrives but not at our bidding.
So it’s no use fixing time and place and saying ‘Meet me there!’
She won’t be fixed, and won’t be told.
She just arrives, unannounced, at times one couldn’t imagine.
Like when you realise your marriage is falling apart, there on the station platform, and the terror of all that that means, and the sadness for all things lost… becomes an inexplicable peace and strength.
Or when you’re having a shit time at the airport – delays, exhaustion, baggage handlers – and you have placed in your hand the most wonderful tasting coffee (when it shouldn’t be wonderful, not here, not in this dive) and you know such pleasure and delight that you are alive, here, now.
Or you’re sitting in church, appalled by the sermon and wondering what you believe, and nothing makes sense anymore, when you kneel frustrated and judging at the altar rail and start to cry, tears of utter joy, for its like a waterfall of love is crashing down around you.
Grace doesn’t stick around, she arrives and departs; it may only be seconds, which could be reckoned hasty.
And in some ways, she changes nothing, her critics say this, leaving you just where she found you.
Though not how she found you, this is the deep magic; the textures of life forever stained.
An altering moment, small or large, one often remembered many years hence.
She just won’t be tied by our plans.
I have waited ten years for something given me in seconds.
I stop and I breathe at the memory; but cannot explain.
And I’m not privy to her plans for today; though she knows where I am, she has found me before.