Anxiety and self-disgust
Posted by Simon Parke, 18 June 2018, 5.10pm
Some thoughts if your anxiety is bringing you to a place of self-disgust and self- loathing.
One suggestion: try and give up making a project of yourself for ten seconds a day.
This may increase to fifteen seconds of freedom in time, possibly more. (Maximum per day, twenty-four hours.)
Anxiety is all about control.
So give your desire for control a name, greet it on arrival, hear its concerns…and then breathe it out.
It served you once, spotting danger, but it doesn’t serve you now; it’s just disabling.
Live the present unfolding, (there’s meaning here now) rather than catastrophising about the future.
Give catastrophising a name, greet it on arrival…and then breathe it out.
It protected you once, preparing you for danger, but does the quite opposite now. Your survival fears are no longer helping you survive.
And get into your body… make it ache, make it sweat, but get into it daily.
Because you aren’t anxious there…it’s your head which is the anxiety machine.
Arrive in your body, arrive to your breathing, arrive in the present, arrive at acceptance of circumstances…
...if only for ten seconds.
And if you punish yourself for failing to manage ten seconds, give self-punishment a name, greet it on arrival, and then breathe it out.
Striving self-punishment has never served you.
Give your true self some support, and all shall be well…creation will conspire to help you.
Your anxiety just needs parenting, like Jesus to a child, so be kind to it.
Your anxiety just needs a kind parent, for it didn’t have one when you were younger.
Hear its concerns, its terrors and its fears… and then gently cast them to the four winds.
This changing of the inner climate will be work… but it will also be grace and revelation.
There is such joy in you when anxiety leaves the house.