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Job advert for vicar: could this be you?

Posted by Simon Parke, 27 March 2019, 2.12pm

Is God calling you to The Church of the True Faith, in the village of Purity?

We’re looking for a Spirit-filled leader to lead us on into GROWTH and FULNESS.

Quite simply, we want you to be the image of Christ among us, and so preferably –

1) Married, obviously. With a wife.

2) Someone who doesn’t say ‘Who is my mother?’ which is offensive, (and ungrateful) especially around Mother’s Day - which we want to reclaim for Christ. Halleluah!

3) Someone with good boundaries who doesn’t allow women of dubious reputation (not welcome in Purity) to wash their feet with their hair. The PCC does regard this as an ‘unhelpful’ image, especially for other men, and it can cause comment.

4) Someone who doesn’t get angry, shouty and violent in the Temple/Church area, because anger causes unnecessary offence; and ‘Least said, best mended’ as our Lord said.

5) Someone who doesn’t say ‘Let the dead bury the dead,’ as this is pastorally unkind. We pride ourselves on our bereavement care of church members in Purity; and also, we have two undertakers in the congregation.

6) Someone who doesn’t call Syro-Phoenician women ‘dogs’, because we do have a couple of SP’s living in one of the tower blocks nearby, and we don’t need more accusations of racism, frankly.

7) Someone who doesn’t scream about their own sense of abandonment. ‘My God, My God, why have you abandoned me!’ really doesn’t help anyone. We don’t need atheists here! We need people who can pull their socks up and get on with it.

So, could you come and be Jesus to us here in Purity?

Application details below…

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