Rude people disempowered
Posted by Simon Parke, 09 May 2014, 5.13am
The taxi was taking me from Cranfield School of Management back to Milton Keynes station.
The driver was young and from Pakistan.
He asked what I’d been doing. I said I’d been talking about stress at work with some businessmen.
‘So can you help me with my stress?’ he said.
I asked him where the stress lay for him in driving taxis.
‘The rude people…people are very rude.’
He then gave some examples, and yes, people were very rude.
‘It’s hard,’ I said, ‘because you have to be polite, don’t you? They can complain about you - but you can’t complain about them.’
‘That is right,’ he said. ‘I can do nothing. I sit here. I take it.’
‘And how do the rude people leave you feeling?’
It helps that he is able to use the word…that he doesn’t say something disingenuous like ‘disappointed’ or ‘frustrated’.
‘So maybe it’s good when they have gone to sit quietly for a moment in the car and notice your anger.’
‘Sit quietly? I like to drive faster when I’m angry.’
‘I think it’s worth sitting quietly for a moment, listening to your breathing and noticing the feelings of anger surging…and becoming aware of the cause, the rude man. He found you happy and left you unhappy.’
‘They are very rude. Why are they so rude?’
‘It’s a strong feeling, the anger, and it’s hijacked you - a sudden cloud in your sky… but it’s a passing one.’
‘I’m not an angry man.’
No, you’re not, I can see that, but when you are angry, it’s good to notice… and then start to breathe it from your body.’
‘Is this what you say to people?’
‘Don’t allow the rude man any more power over you, that’s what I’m saying. Only unhappy people are rude…don’t give him the power to make you unhappy as well. Breathe him out of your body.’
‘I like the idea of sitting quietly.’
We pulled into Milton Keynes station. I fumbled in my pockets and handed over £12…though to be honest, I felt we were quits.
He’d got me to Milton Keynes station, sure.
But I’d helped him to be free from the rude people…