The day I became a haunted house
Posted by Simon Parke, 22 November 2021, 9.46am
Some people believe houses are haunted; and it could be.
Though there’s more evidence for humans being haunted.
Humans like me, for instance.
Sometimes I declare myself worried. ‘I am so worried,’ I say and believe it to be so.
My worry is the most reasonable thing in the world. Surely I have every reason to be anxious because of so-and-so?
Like a dark cloud across the sun, this worry clouds my psyche and I begin to hallucinate, imagining the worry to be me.
Yes, I now seem somehow defined by it.
I move from a noticing a concern passing through me to the strong sense that this is who I am: I am this worry! And to hell with everything else!
Is there any way back?
I am not this worry, of course. That’s where I begin. It isn’t who I am at all.
Like most distressing emotions, it is a distant memory acting up, a parasite leaching off the now, a child-like panic resurrected.
My present circumstances jangle old bells and stir old ghosts into life.
Behold the haunting - as spirits from the past, with clammy hands, take hold of my life again.
Until I remember I am not worry; until I remember that peace is who I am.
While old ghosts trespass on land that isn’t theirs…
I am peace.