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The smart phone creed

Posted by Simon Parke, 23 May 2018, 10.57am

I believe in my phone, and smart technology Almighty,
creator of heaven and earth, as I now experience it.

I believe in - Jesus Christ! Have you seen the latest story about Victoria Beckham?
Conceived by the newsroom
born of public demand
suffering celebrities
crucified, dead and buried - and all on my brilliant phone
which descends to the dead when it’s battery is low.

But on the third day, (well, hopefully much sooner,) when re-charged, it rises again
and ascends me to heaven,
and seats me at the right hand of the all information, instantly accessed.

And it will judge the living and the dead, though not necessarily with proper evidence.

I believe in the wholly distracted spirit,
the wholly catholic sex scandal - not another one?!
the communion of people like me ( I do need them to be like me) in virtual relationship
the forgiveness of sins - only joking, let’s screw the bastards!
the resurrection of old stories, brushed up for popular view

And my phone everlasting. (whilst near a power point.) Amen.

 
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