'Universal unhappiness, Mr Bond?'
Posted by Simon Parke, 22 January 2018, 9.15am
Imagine one of those early Bond villains with a cat on his lap – we’ll call him Apocalypse - explaining how he will get his sick revenge on the world.
Instead of launching a missile strike on London, Paris or New York - ‘We can do better than that, Mr Bond!’ - he has a much more dastardly plan.
Via social media, celebrity culture and education, he’ll simply make everyone dream of being someone else.
‘If you want to make someone unhappy, Mr Bond, it is simple - make them wish to be someone else…someone famous, someone different, someone with money.
Suddenly they will have goals which will bring an endless cycle of stress, disappointment and envy.
They will be unhappy in their own skin, blind to their own glory…and restless!
Oh, and fear, Mr Bond. They will fear all things – fear not being, fear missing out, fear not acquiring, fear not achieving. Little machines of fear, and my revenge will be complete, Mr Bond! Universal unhappiness!’
007 is quietly relieved.
‘You’re wasting your time, Apocalypse,’ says Bond. ‘No one would be so stupid as to exchange present beauty and peace for the nonsense you describe.’
Apocalypse strokes his cat.
‘We will see, Mr Bond, we will see.’