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June 26, 2008

Feng Shui 'T

I've been out of the village with 'The Master'. I would never normally, or normally never admit to this, but the Blogmeister is away. he's on another crusade but as far as One can see, hasn't taken many of his Knights with him. Sir Pentine wasn't propping up the bar in the Heron and Frog tonight but I suspect he's nursing a distended ego following the misunderstanding with Bald Brenda.
Anyway, we were staying with friends in the Alpes Maritime and there were two books left in the bathroom.
"Oh dear!" I exclaimed. "I really can't be doing with '365 Ways to Keep Passion Alive'." Apart from anything else I don't spend that long in the bathroom.
"Try the Feng Shui book", the Master suggested.

So I returned home to light the corners of my drawing room and to throw away the useful pieces of string with which I fill my drawers. To be slightly more honest, I have re distributed a lot of stuff but I know I'm going to need those pieces of string. I'll go out now and tie up a tomato.

Posted by Martha at 08:52 PM | Comments (0)

June 19, 2008

the new political correctness

There's hesitation in the radio studio. The interviewer is talking to the financial guru, and things are now getting a little tense.
'Does this mean that we might have to-'
Slight pause in the studio. Careful what you say, matey. We don't want to upset the nation; don't want to sound uncaring or insensitive. Ye gods! Don't sound insensitive whatever you do! Think of the e mails!
'Does this mean,' continues the interviewer, 'that we might have to, well, there's no other way of putting it-'
What's he going to suggest?? That we kill our neighbour? Advocate child labour? But no - it's neither of these.
'...that we might actually have to tighten our belts a little, you know, er, spend less?'

Spend less?? Everyone moves quickly on. Let's have some weather, some sport, some gardening news - anything to distract from the words just spoken. Hell - this is a family show!

Is this the new political correctness? That no one can actually stand up and say 'This year, many of us will be financially poorer than last year - but none of us need be less happy.'

Consumer Sensibilities are the new sham god. And concerning these sensibilities - careful now! - I'm inclined to say 'Fuck them'.

Posted by Mr Bojangles at 03:32 PM | Comments (0)

June 16, 2008

It's Simple

How sad
That to make ourselves
Feel better
We have to attack others
Don't we realise
That these kind of 'highs'
Have no lasting value
Dehumanising another
In order to get our kicks
Will always backfire
For ultimately
We are all connected
It's simple
In hurting you
I hurt myself
No wonder there are
So many sick souls in the world

Posted by Shelliz at 08:21 PM | Comments (0)

June 13, 2008

Better to arrive.

  "A pox on long haul travel," said the Magistrate as he stepped down from the coach brushing crumbs from his dull fustion, glancing up at the darkening sky and stepping his carbon footprint into a handy puddle."My legs are taken with cramp and my baggage still in Plumhampton Minster where we changed horses." He was tired and tosticated from hours on the road.A crowd was gathering outside the store to see who had come off the coach. Only the child catcher has such a barouche of a vehicle and with his new carillon announcing his arrival he can make sure it is well admired. He seems more cheerful with the longer days.I had watched through the lace curtains at Aunt Trower's cottage; a delight to behold just now with the Delphiniums, and roses abundant over the door. We had been sampling the Elderflower cordial and declared it a disappointment due to many wet blossom days. However,with the addition of a three unit thimble of gin the room appeared brighter and Aunt Trower's drab attire radiated cerise hues.We watched the Magistrate meet and greet, pass on the latest gossip about the grand old Duke of York, and turn sadly for home, bagless, as the coach trundled on through the ruttled street and away over Hangman's Hill.Tonight there is to be an evening of whimsy for the Bracombe ladies in the cricket pavilion. We are to be pampered with bouts of free range reflexology,smatterings of Indian head massage and fully inclusive waxings. All for a guinea. I'll be taking my sewing stool which hasn't seen wax since Farmer Wurdle's bees were discovered to be pollen intolerant. I'd like to take my Parlour table but it is a weight, so unless Hefty Kitty comes by, it will not see wax again this side of Trinity.
The last time I saw that Round Table up at the Big House I thought it could do with more

than a vinegar wipe but the Knights are only interested in what's under the silver salver and Mrs Minchin's sight is little better than her sense of smell.

Posted by Martha at 06:12 PM | Comments (0)

a heart beat from happiness

It's the responsbility of each to own their own mortality. But others do help us sometimes.

My locum doctor panicked recently when she saw my heart rate was only 43.
'That's quite low,' she said.
I did tell her that I exercised and that it was always like that - but she still sent me for an ecg at the hospital.
'That's quite low,' said the Australian nurse this morning, though she added that marathon runners have heart rates in the 30's. 'The heart is a muscle - the more it's used, the stronger it is.'

I like that. And then just as I thought we were done, she spotted something on the print out.
'I'm sure its nothing,' she said, 'but I do just want to check this with the cardiologist.'

Mmmm. Somehow, 'I'm sure it's nothing' doesn't cut much ice, when it's the heart, so I sat and prepared for my final weeks on earth, which I should really do more often. It was all about the nature of the goodbyes.

15 ninutes later, I was told that yes, it was nothing by the lovely Australian nurse - so the goodbyes must wait. In a way.

As I say, it is the responsibility of each to own their mortality. But sometimes - others do help.

Posted by Mr Bojangles at 05:32 PM | Comments (0)

June 09, 2008

no shit required

I just feel it's important to say that you don't need to have handled shit recently in order to contribute to this blog. Sure, it helps - but I hope we are a welcoming on-line community, and one that refuses to demonise those who through no fault of their own, have found themselves shit-free of late.

Rome wasn't built in a day, you know.

And when I remember why I wrote that line, I'll get back to you.

Posted by Mr Bojangles at 05:07 PM | Comments (0)

June 06, 2008

A load of s**t

After reading Russels blog, i'm very please to know i wasn't the only one dealing in poo yesterday, i was at work with the little people. one little girl is toilet training at the moment, the wee's are going well but the poo obviously came as a bit of a surprise, so i kitted myself up in my rubber gloves as this particular little one had asked for me personally to change her(sometimes it's not so good to be someone's favourite)however her movement was a little unpredictable as she stepped out of her pants and i ended up with the poo all over my arm and foot. Nice!

Posted by Shelliz at 06:37 PM | Comments (0)

June 05, 2008

Refurb

So, my regular workplace is having a spring clean and many things are being fixed or replaced. After 3 years of containing highly unkempt people who sometimes have the urge to kick down doors and smear faeces over the walls, it was needed.
While the work is happening, we have all been separated and placed elsewhere to the many different areas that unwell people can go.
It has taken me a while to settle in. Things that I would not generally accept are common occurances here and I don't wish to step on any toes as I am a visitor. It seems for different needs, different care is needed.
I am settled there now however and I will soak up these next six weeks and treat it as a learning experience from which I can benefit from. I just hope though that today will be the only day where I had to pick up poo.

Posted by Russell at 09:47 PM | Comments (0)

June 04, 2008

Freedom in plastic

Rules, rules , rules. They are invading our every waking hour, and most of our sleeping hours as well. Whether it's the 'for your own good' H&S rules to government advice on drinking, smoking, sex, driving, waking or sleeping we are inundated. I work with adults in a Sure Start Centre but always have to have a locked door between me and any children. I don't know what they are going to do to me but it can make moving from one room to another extremely difficult. Roads are clogged with warning signs, painted zones and concrete obstructions. In one village residents have even bought their own speed gun and regularly spend their free time taking the numbers of cars driving too fast and sending them to the police. Instead of writing to the offenders the police could better spend their time suggesting to the villages that they should get a life.
But despite the gloom caused by the news of a new government initiative to tackle something or other there is good news. A road near us has been cleared of signs, markings, even pavements and is now open to motorists and pedestrians alike. It seems to work well with motorists having to move slowly around pavement cafes, cyclists and pushchairs. The other great freedom has come about due to the plastic mug. I can now take a drink into the auditorium and enjoy a beer during a concert. No doubt I'll soon have to sign a disclaimer stating I know the dangers of alcohol and pass 3 posters warning me that I'm risking my life but still I can now do something that for many years I was prevented from doing. 'A small step for freedom a giant …' no not quite but still encouraging.

Posted by Andy Mason at 10:30 AM | Comments (0)

June 01, 2008

Cry Baby

On saturday I found myself sobbing in a friend's arms, Why?
I was crying for the mother's holding that I never received and I was again trying to come to an acceptance of the damage that the 'mothering' I had been given, had left me with.
When my mother is about I am constantly scanning and waiting for the attack to come,the fear overtakes my whole being effecting my movement and breathing.
I know I need to accept what is and move on but it is hard because inside me a baby is still crying out.

BABY

Baby needs warmth and comfort
Baby needs to be held securely and kept safe
Baby needs to be sung the lullaby and stroked to sleep
Baby needs to play and discover new things
Baby needs nourishment to grow strong
Baby needs to feel loved and special
I still hear baby crying out
Do you?

Posted by Shelliz at 05:44 PM | Comments (0)