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September 13, 2008
Anxiously Waiting
At the moment I am anxiously waiting for my daughter to go into labour, she is overdue and yesterday the midwife pronounced that the big event could start at anytime! I am on call to go and take care of my grandson while she is at the hospital doing the pushing and panting.
I am very excited and yet I am fearful at the same time, thoughts of all the things that could go wrong keep pushing their way into my head and although I try to root myself in the present and I am doing my best to allow these disturbing images to pass though me, I still find myself unsettled, Why do I find it so hard to be positive?
I know that my own two last labours hang heavy in the air, those moments when the long awaited cry of a healthy baby was painfully absent and although I keep steering myself away from these tormenting memories, they keep returning to haunt me.
Deep Breath Time, I turn myself to the Bigger Truth, All is held and All is Well, I allow my pain to surface, I cry and acknowledge the part of me who is still so effected by this loss.
I can feel myself settling and now I am in a stronger place, ready to be the mother my daughter so deserves.
Posted by Shelliz at September 13, 2008 05:03 PM