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October 13, 2008
BOMB - stock market news
Greetings again, as I put down my latest printout of the Nikkei index which is down 489 points - and I won't even try and put into layman's terms what that actually means!
But let's start with some praise. One of you recently called me 'a complete banker', which I appreciate - thank you! I didn't come into this for praise, but if it comes - so be it. I am not resting on my laurels, however. Instead, I'm resting on your money (!) here at BOMB (the Bojangles Mattress Bank.)
But like Barclays, I will not be accepting any government cash today. It's really very difficult to breathe at night with my nose pressed against the ceiling - any more cash beneath me could seriously damage my health!
But these are stressful times. I opened the bank as a largely charitable venture - yet find myself increasingly caught up in a pretty dark world of subterfuge. Just yesterday, I found my postman opening my mail - until his false moustache fell off, revealing 'my postman' to be none other than a leading hedge fund manager!
'And another thing - there is no post on Sunday!' I added rather mischievously, as I kicked him to the ground!
And then this morning, I discovered a financial journalist pretending to be my cleaner! I spotted him at once, of course, because I don't have a cleaner. And Robert Peston looked very silly in that bright yellow apron.
But get this. He then offered me £1000 for inside information. I said I'd sleep on it.
We were helpless with laughter.
Posted by Mr Bojangles at October 13, 2008 10:45 AM