How to relax

Here is a way to relax; because when we are relaxed, whether at work or play, we see things more clearly and live more freely.

Some never relax and the price is high, both for them and those around them.

This meditation is nothing new; in fact it’s very old. It can be practiced for ten or twenty minutes. But if you are starting out, try for seven minutes, if it means you’ll do it.

Every meditation starts as an act of the will: ‘I will do this because my life is precious.’

It’s simple and I sense you will enjoy it.

First find a sitting position that allows you to be both comfortable and alert.

When ready, (phone on silent obviously) begin to pay gentle attention to your out-breath as it arrives. This is a meditation around your out-breath.

You’re not straining to concentrate; it’s not a challenge. You’re aware of your surroundings as you breathe, wherever you are – at home, on the bus in a park.

You’re aware also of thoughts and feelings passing through…and aware of your out-breath.

The out-breath is the focus of this meditation. The in-breath is a pause, a gap, free space. There’s nothing to be aware of here.  

Thoughts and feelings will arise, for we have not left the ordinary world or acquired some special spiritual state.

We’re just sitting still, open and relaxed and noticing our out-breath, this quiet letting go of everything that is inside us.

If a thought abducts us for a moment, and we forget what we’re doing, we simply label it ‘thinking’ and return to our out-breath.

Saying ‘thinking’ is a lovely step into self-kindness. There’s no judgement of the thought, just unconditional friendliness towards whatever arises in our mind.

Everything belongs here; nothing is turned away. But thoughts which kidnap are noticed.

We’re reminded that meditation is not escape from difficult feelings or disturbing thoughts.  Rather, it is invitation to whatever needs attention.

Thoughts and feelings pass through us like waves in an ocean, rising and falling, appearing, disappearing. We stand on the cliffs and watch.

And all the time, a gentle awareness of our out-breath. Open and relaxed, we notice our out-breath, which is a cleansing, a letting go.

Some say meditation is the willingness to die over and over again. Here, we die to fear and the illusions it gives birth to.

And in such dying, we live with more kindness and clarity.

Over to you.