It was a difficult watch.
Previously, we have seen him robed and mitred in gold. He has been one of the great and good, who presided over both the late queen’s funeral and the coronation of our present king.
But now the man feels naked, interviewed in civvies, sweating freely and with a large elephant in the room.
‘So why didn’t you do anything about the serial abuser, John Smythe?’ asks Laura Kuenssberg, in this set-piece interview for the BBC.
Former Archbishop Justin Welby was brought down by Smythe, the most grubby of men. He was an authority figure for Justin in his younger days when the future archbishop attended Iwerne Christian camps for those of the Evangelical persuasion.
But thirty years on, Smythe and his behaviour return to haunt him; indeed, they bring him down. And they bring him down because – when the archbishop was told about the Iwerne camp leader’s grotesque abuse of countless young people, Welby did…nothing.
The list of those Christians who colluded in the cover-up is a deep-stained scandal. But the archbishop as well?
‘So why didn’t you do anything about the serial abuser, John Smythe?’
Justin’s eyes drift left when he is nervous, away from camera and interviewer; and yes, the sweat glistens. He looks and sounds like Tony Blair when asked about supposed weapons of mass destruction.
Welby’s answer, when it comes, is uncomfortable both for him and the listener. He explains that there were so many sexual abuse cases crossing his desk at that time, he became ‘overwhelmed’ and did…nothing.
We all take a deep breath, and maybe re-wind to ensure we heard it aright: there were so many cases of sexual abuse crossing his desk that he became overwhelmed and did nothing.
Yes, we did hear it right.
In other words, he took the avoidant way. Instead of walking towards the fear, he walked away from it. Adopting a childhood survival tool, he disassociated from something that was difficult to cope with. It helps children survive, for which we are grateful; but we do need to grow out of it; is not an act of adult leadership.
And Kuenssberg is genuinely surprised by this behaviour in a church leader; while, Graham, a victim of Smythe, is furious as he listens. ‘Was there anything more important for him to do?’ he asks. He cannot comprehend how it wasn’t a priority. While Welby himself appreciates it is an explanation, and not an excuse. He does say sorry.
And there will be no throwing of stones in this glass house.
I am familiar with the avoidant way both in myself and others; and how destructive it is in decision making. And while from the outside, the decisions may look quite insane; from the inside, there is the twisted internal logic of fear.
And fear’s habitual lie is saying: ‘Here is something you cannot cope with – run to somewhere nicer!’
And so we ignore the issue; or disassociate from it, looking for rabbit holes to leap down, seeking distraction. Whatever it is that threatens to overwhelm us, we walk away from it, rather than towards it.
And so it is that relationships are sabotaged, commitments aborted and rootless lives set adrift.
At first glance, our story may bear little resemblance to the archbishop’s. His is rather more public, for a start. But at second glance, there may be similarities; times when fear disables our will, as it did his.
So we take heart, and take heart again, and we never lose heart, for if our intention is to walk towards the fear rather than away from it, we’re on the right path.
Fear and its lies are diminished when approached and greeted.
They retain their foolish hold only if we run for the hills.
