The human personality, a construct of our early-years development, is sometimes compared to an acorn.
It can be a shiny acorn.
It can be a tough acorn.
Sometimes it may be a merry little acorn.
It can even be polished and treated and looked after religiously.
But it can never be more than acorn until it cracks.
To become an oak tree, it has to give up its present existence – which is quite a thing.
This is why there is no growth in the human personality. There are things we can do. We can helpfully develop coping mechanisms to deal with issues; we can polish the little marvel, pamper it a little.
These can help.
But there is no growth within its boarded-up structures, no change. Only when something gives, something cracks, some permission is given, some surrender occurs does human growth begin.
Some say we only change when we get bored of our own unhappiness. For others, it might be crisis that releases a different spirit.
Either way, we’ll not fear the crack in our acorns side; it’s how oaks grow.
As Hafiz memorably wrote,
‘Light will some day split you open
Even if your life is now a cage.
For a divine seed, the crown of destiny,
Is hidden and sown on an ancient fertile plain,
You hold the title to.’