Doctor Johnson

They say Doctor Johnson is a liar

But give him a break, I say, he gets things done, I say.

Breaking away from that old practice in town, run by that Johnny Foreigner fellow, he said it would be ‘rip-roaringly better, give power back to the patients.’

And yes, of course there’s been a bit of bother, appointments cancelled, care compromised, lives lost

But that’s not the point, it really isn’t, and anyway, he says it’s all going really well, that it’s far and away the best doctor’s surgery in the area, if not the world – ‘world-beating!’ he said, his words.

And that those who complain should frankly respect their town a bit more, which is bang on the nail in my book.

Respect your town!

There’ll always be naysayers, of course, the doom merchants. Those who say his record of misdiagnosis is not good, (well, ‘appalling’) and that his performance in his previous job was ‘dire’.

But you have to wonder about their motives – probably some of Johnny Foreigner’s mob trying to get their patients back, and if he doesn’t always tell the truth – I mean, give the man a break!

He’s a doctor, for God’s sake, he saves lives – well, I know some dispute that – but you’ve got to look at the bigger picture, he gets things done.

He took us out of that other practice, didn’t he? Where many were happy, I know – but maybe they should get over themselves and well, he makes us proud, and how many times do I have to say it?

He gets things done

He certainly got the redecoration done – and so what if it was paid for by some of his richer patients?

Yes, they may get better treatment now, quicker bookings, be at the head of the queue, while the waiting time for the rest of us grows.

But that’s how the world works and he says its ‘absolutely and stonkingly all above-board’ – his words, his words – and that’s good enough for me. He’s a clever fellow, I’m told; clever with words.

He says all inquiries into his conduct – all seventeen of them – are ‘just spaffing money up the wall’. A waste of our taxes!


And what the receptionist claims happened, and the child, and all that – well, again, get over yourself, young lady – you’re hardly the first!

That’s what I say anyway and we know he’s not a family man, it’s sort-of understood.

If we wanted a saint, we’d buy a bloody statue!

And the whole uproar about his ‘let the bodies pile high’ remark, which the local paper went to town on – insensitive for a doctor? Maybe, but more like local tittle-tattle from where I’m standing.

Well, actually, I’m not standing, I’m lying down, bent double in pain. Standing is over for me now, because he misdiagnosed my heart condition – dithered, I suppose – delayed treatment and I’m now close to death.

But what I liked was – he could make a joke of it!

‘Another body on the pile!’ he said cheerily on the phone. What a joker!

And I mean, I don’t expect my doctor to care, I really don’t, he’s not Mother Theresa, for God’s sake – but he gets things done, mainly for his friends, those with his phone number, but he gets things done

And frankly, so what if the whole ‘getting things done’ line is just another a lie?

So bloody what? Respect the town more! That’s what I say.

And maybe I like his lies!

If I wanted the truth from my doctor, well – I’d go to another one…


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